"Abstinence is the great strengthener and clearer of reason." This quote by Robert South states that remaining abstinent is a hard thing to do, but if you can do so it makes you stronger, and able to think more clearly. Sex is a very powerful thing that should be shared with one person. Staying abstinent until you are married can be a better choice than having premarital sex because it strengthens your friendship with that person, teaches you patience and self control, and it makes for a more stable family.
Connecting on a friendship level is important in a relationship. Being able to talk to and say anything you want around that person is crucial. When someone rushes into sex, the relationship could become based only on the sexual attraction, and no friendship will be formed. Therefore, the two people will not share as many conversations and will not truly know each other. When abstaining from intimacy, you get to know more about the person and develop a stronger bond.
Waiting until you get married to have sex takes a lot of patience and self control. Self control is the hardest part of abstinence, but with love and support from the people around you it is possible. Low self control and impatience is what causes most people to engage in sexual activity before marriage.
After someone is married, that is the time to start their family. The fact that the two people remained abstinent together, and became best friends through the wait helps to create a more stable family. The number of women who get pregnant after having premarital sex gets higher each year. This can cause unstable lives for the children, because there is no guarantee that both parents will be in the child’s life. In a marriage, both the mother and father have children to expand their family and are ready to care for them.
Sex is giving a piece of yourself to another person, and that should not be taken for granted and just given to anyone. Not having sex until after you are married teaches you many things and makes you a stronger person in the long run. I have nothing against people who have premarital sex. I'm actually one of my only friends that has abstained. Waiting is just the choice I've made for myself and you just read why.
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I have to say, good valid argument. I agree with you on the fact that waiting until you really get to know that one person and develop a full friendship first is a great idea. But what about the people who don't want to get married, or have had a bad experince in a marriage, but just want another relationship? I truly believe that it is great to first have a special connection and friendship with a person before you give a piece of yourself to them, aka having sex. There are some people who believe once they found that person, and know they will be together with them forever or a long time, they want to have that special intimate relationship, even if married or not. It is not like they are just sleeping around. They might have done what a married couple would do and waited until the right time when they both knew. Personally though, I agree with you, only because of biblical standards. But that is a whole other argument in itself.
ReplyDeleteI agree also, speaking from experience waiting until you are married is the way to go. Being able to commit yourself to one person and learning one another makes a difference. Even though marriage does not guarantee a life of pure bliss, it is a healthy start on building a foundation. I do argue that even marriage does not guarantee that house will remain a home. Husbands and wifes walk out on families in this day in age more so now then ever before. If our society kept the the same morals our grandmothers and grandfather did this might not have been a topic.
ReplyDeleteStay true to what you believe in ....it keeps you from falling for anything.
Kaitlyn, I think that's awesome what your doing by living out what you believe! Especially since it's on such a hot button topic (Air Hi-Five!) It's a courageous thing to do.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with everything you said. I did note that Alicia asked about those who did not intend on getting married, and what they should do about abstinence.
Personally, Alicia, I think that they should abstain from sexual activity as well. THIS DOES NOT MEAN I HATE PEOPLE WHO HAVE SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE. It simply means I disagree with what they're doing.
So think about what has been said so far. Everybody who has posted on this site thus far has said that abstaining from sexual activity until your married is the way to go. If abstinence is indeed the best option, why would someone want anything else?
You may be asking, "But those other people plan on marrying. They won't have to wait forever."
This argument may not hold water for some of you, as it has a specifically religious tone to it (not that it is "Holy" or "Righteous in some way by itself, but that it has to do with religious beliefs). There are biblical precedents which state that sexual conduct outside of marriage is, in fact, wrong. Better to remain completely abstinent than to have sex outside of marriage.
By that particular standard, it is wrong to have sex outside of marriage. And by that standard I say that if one is not mature enough or willing to enter into a matrimonial relationship, they should abstain from sexual activity all together. This is for many reasons: because biblical scriptures say it's wrong, because as Kaitlyn pointed out one may become attached merely for the sexual attachment and not for the other party for their own sake, and for the fact that any children begotten from such a union would be in an unstable family situation as the mother and father are not bound by marriage and therefore would have no necessarily lasting commitments to each other or the child.
I merely say this. The topic is about abstinence and it's values, not sexual immorality and it's consequences. So Kaitlyn, well put, and you have my most adamant support.
I feel so guilty! But I am remaining cellibate. I gave my body back to God, and and waiting for that right person to give myself to.
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